Suarahati.org, Sidoarjo – Ayah, ibu dan (maksimal) dua anak tinggal di dalam satu rumah adalah gambaran ideal sebuah keluarga yang sudah belasan tahun mungkin ada di pikiran Anda. Tak ada yang salah dengan pola pikir semacam itu.
Namun, saat ini, fakta menunjukkan bahwa ternyata faktor ekonomi, pekerjaan hingga gaya hidup secara perlahan namun pasti mulai menggeser kedudukan tipe keluarga ideal di atas tadi dan memunculkan aneka tipe keluarga baru, yang siap atau tidak, semakin banyak ditemui di masyarakat dewasa ini. Lalu, tipe keluarga mana yang Anda miliki saat ini?
- Extended Family
Ciri-ciri:
Terdiri dari keluarga inti (ayah, ibu dan anak) yang tinggal satu atap dengan orang dewasa lainnya, seperti kakek-nenek. Unit keluarga ini sering disebut sebagai ‘conguine family’ (berdasarkan pertalian darah).Tantangannya:
1. Hadirnya orang dewasa lain di luar pasangan, tentu akan berpengaruh dalam berbagai hal, seperti saat mengambil keputusan, penanaman nilai-nilai yang mungkin berbeda, cara penyelesaian masalah, maupun pengaturan finansial. Misalnya, bisa jadi, karena perbedaan generasi, orang dewasa lainnya yang serumah dengan Anda memiliki cara yang berbeda saat berinteraksi dengan anak, sehingga anak bingung harus mengikuti aturan yang mana.
2. Privasi Anda, pasangan dan anak akan terusik akibat campur tangan orang lain.Solusi:
1. Tentukan batasan. Misalnya beri penjelasan kepada anggota keluarga lainnya bahwa soal pengasuhan anak dan finasial mutlak menjadi hak Anda dan pasangan.
2. Tetapkan privasi. Tentukan area privasi (kamar tidur, misalnya) dan minta agar anggota keluarga lainnya menghargai hal itu.
3. Jangan terlalu ikut campur dalam perdebatan keluarga.
- Keluarga Jarak Jauh (Commuter Family)
Ciri-ciri:
Karena tuntutan pekerjaan, salah satu orangtua (ayah maupun ibu) terpaksa tinggal di kota berbeda, sebagai kota tempat ia bekerja. Orangtua yang bekerja di luar kota bisa berkumpul dengan pasangan dan anaknya pada saat akhir pekan atau waktu-waktu tertentu.Tantangannya:
1. Ketidakhadiran pasangan secara fisik membuat hidup bersama anak cukup berat. Karena bunda atau ayah harus berperan sebagai orangtua seutuhnya sekaligus menjaga stabilitas emosi dan rasa aman di rumah.
2. Harus diwaspadai adalah antiklimaks ketika Anda berdua bertemu. Tak jarang karena rasa rindu, bunda dan ayah memiliki harapan tinggi terhadap satu sama lain. Ketika itu tidak terwujud, maka berbalik menjadi kecewa.
3. Anak akan kehilangan figur bunda atau ayah.Solusi:
1. Perbanyak komunikasi melalui telepon, internet, surat, dan lainnya. Ungkapkan perasaan, seperti rindu, kehilangan atau senang.
2. Ciptakan waktu berkualitas ketika bertemu.
3. Tetap kompak dengan pasangan tentang cara mendisiplinkan anak. Saat bertemu jangan memanjakan anak atau justru terlalu ketat dan hindari terlihat berbeda pendapat di depan anak.
4. Tetap mengontrol hal-hal penting seperti kesehatan dan sekolah anak meski hanya via telepon.
5. Kirim foto secara berkala pada anak agar ia tahu keseharian ayah atau bundanya.
6. Ajak anak sesekali melihat tempat kerja Anda agar ia tahu apa yang dilakukan oleh sang ayah atau bunda saat tak ada di sampingnya.
7. Beri perhatian dan dengarkan pasangan saat curhat.
- Keluarga Single Parent
Ciri cirinya:
Hanya ada satu orangtua yang membesarkan anak. Keadaan ini terjadi biasanya melalui proses perceraian, kematian atau ditinggalkan begitu saja oleh pasangan (menyalahi hukum pernikahan).Tantangannya:
1. Peran ganda. Anda harus berperan sebagai ibu sekaligus ayah, atau sebaliknya.
2. Masalah keuangan. Sekarang, Andalah satu-satunya sumber keuangan dalam keluarga. Maka Anda harus mengelola keuangan dengan cerdas dan bijak.
3. Penerimaan lingkungan. Tak bisa dipungkiri, masih ada sebagian orang yang memandang remeh status janda atau duda. Bahkan ada yang merasa keberadaan janda atau duda menjadi ancaman keharmonisan rumah tangganya.
4. Kebutuhan Seksual. Setiap manusia pasti memiliki hasrat seksual yang butuh disalurkan. Jika ditahan, mengakibatkan tubuh terasa tidak nyaman, kondisi emosi tidak stabil, dan berujung pada munculnya rasa marah yang mungkin saja secara tak sadar Anda lampiaskan kepada anak.Solusinya:
1. Tidak menutup diri dengan lingkungan sekitar. Jalin komunikasi yang baik dengan tetangga dan ikut serta dalam kegiatan di sekitar rumah. Ini dapat membuat orang-orang di sekitar Anda lebih bisa memahami keadaan Anda sebagai orang tua tunggal.
2. Berpuasa atau penuhi hari-hari dengan aktivitas seperti berolahraga, sehingga pikiran Anda tidak terfokus untuk memenuhi dorongan seksual.
3. Fokus pada apa yang dimiliki saat ini. Anak kini jadi pusat kehidupan Anda. Jika anak melihat Anda murung, tidak nyaman atau tidak aman, ia akan merasakan hal yang sama.
4. Sadarlah bahwa Anda tidak bisa menjadi segalanya bagi anak. Jangan terlalu merasa tertekan karena anak tidak bisa mendapat kasih sayang yang utuh dari orangtuanya. Kasih sayang dapat diperolehnya melalui saudara atau orang-orang terdekat, bahkan ayah ataupun bundanya masih dapat mengunjunginya setiap waktu.
5. Hubungan baik dengan mantan pasangan hidup. Mendidik dan mengasuh tentu lebih efektif jika dilakukan berdua. Agar anak tidak bingung dan berharap lebih, tetap jelaskan kondisi orangtuanya yang tidak lagi bersama dengan bahasa yang mudah dimengerti.
(bersambung – www.ayahbunda.co.id)
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The extract was administered on the upper lip every single day
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“During high-intensity train, there is a rise in acidity throughout the muscular tissues that causes fatigue.